Hello dear ones!
Merry Christmas to you all!!
I am sorry I didnt post the past few days, but you all know...its just busy! I hope you all got wonderful surprises for Christmas this year and that the time spent with family was wonderful! I got a beautiful jewelry armoire, a 30 minute massage gift certificate, my favorite perfume along with the lotion & shower gel and an electric can opener. I have a fit every time I have to open a can because my handheld can opener is a piece of crap, so my hubby bought me an electric one....and it works like a champ!! My husband told me that for Valentines Day, he is buying me a pair of diamond stud earrings when we are in the Caribbean. We will be on a cruise from Feb 12-19th so we are going to our favorite little jeweler in St. Thomas to see what they have. Things are much better on the homefront & my husband has done a 180. He told me that he will never let the opportunity arise again to take me for granted. I thought that was a really sweet thing to say and I see that he really does love me and wants to make it work, so thats a good thing for sure!
Christmas Eve we had my husbands family over for dinner...that only lasted 3 hrs. We only see them once a yr and we are all local. How sad huh? I do see my husbands sister quite a bit as she is his only living sibling but his brothers wife (his brother died 4 yrs ago) & her children could care less about doing anything with us. You can tell that everything is done out of "obligation". It hurts my husbands feelings so bad as his family is dwindling down smaller & smaller as the years pass. Anyways, we spent Christmas eve with our girls just hanging out at home. We watched Elf & let the girls open a couple of their presents. Christmas Day is usually spent with my family but this year, with it falling on a Saturday, my uncle (hes a priest) couldnt come home til Sunday due to masses, so we are celebrating later today. I hope to be joining them but not sure if I will be able to go. I woke up with a bad belly ache & have had a bout of "the runs" all morning. I pray that it is short lived because I was really looking forward to spending time with my family today. We are having homemade spaghetti & meatballs. We decided to do something different this yr. I have to tell you...the thought of eating spaghetti today really turns the ole tummy. Might have to make some brown rice to take for myself if this passes.
So here I sit....thinking to myself, what a month this has been! So much stress & sadness and so many tears I could float down the street on a raft on all those tears. I pray every day that God will make things better for me emotionally and that this sadness will lift soon. I am taking the antidepresssant & I have noticed a little difference but I still have my moments where I willhave a wave of sadness go over me that brings me to tears. It is unexplainable. I feel like the people on the Cymbalta commmercial who are crying....thats me. My husband feels bad that I am so sad & keeps asking me what he can do, but there is really nothing he can do. Its depression and I need to work through it. Its just gonna take some time. I told him the best thing he can do is to just let me cry it out. Im sure that it is getting old because I cry every day, mostly at night when I have time to think about things. So say a prayer for me that this will lift. I hate this feeling and I want the old me back!!
On a weight loss note, looks like I am pretty close to the 200# mark as of this am. I really want to be in the 190s by the end of the week!! That would be so exciting if that happens and I feel so motivated to see that goal through! For the first time in a really long time, I feel a sense of hope with my weight loss efforts and I really believe that this year, I am going to finally hit my goal weight of 161. Even though the stress diet that I have been on isnt the ideal means, it has given me the push I needed to realize that I can do it!!!
Well, I will wrap this up for now. I think Ice rambled enough.Have a great day and keep in touch!!
Love to all!