Friday, December 31, 2010

Before Shots....Biting the bullet!


                         Me~  August 2010  Starting Photos
                                  Waist 43"    Abdomen 47"     (yikes!!!)

                                        Me ~Dec 31, 2010  
                                             Down 14.5#  
                                     Waist 39"  abdomen 44"    
                                           Down 7 inches total

Well, I am biting the bullet & posting my before shots. The first was taken in August 2010 before I started dieting. Absolutely MORTIFYING to see these!!!
The second shots were taken today. I can see a difference in my belly, especially in the side shot. I am still moderately Mortified!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Onderland has finally officially arrived!!!

Hello to all my Skinny Sisters!

Well, I am pleased as punch to announce that it is official....I have  arrived in ONEDERLAND as of this mornings weigh in!!! I lost 1.6# this week and am down to 199.8. Talk about getting there by the skin of your teeth but you know what...Im taking it!!! My goal was to be in the 190s by the end of the year and I did it!! I havent been in the 190s for my goodness...YEARS!! Well over 6 years!!! It feels so darned good too! My sister and I are still doing weight watchers together and she is down 18.5#. My total with them is 13.6# (when I started with them) but I am really down almost 19# since March as that was my highest weighing month ever...218.5!! Yikes!!  I am so proud of her and you can tell she is losing. We decided we need to take photos of ourselves every 10# lost to keep a photo journal as well as measurements. I did do measurements of myself and I do have some before pictures I could use. I am still too embarrassed to post them. I know, I know, just do it, huh?! Eventually I will. I promise. I have lost 4 inches off my waist and 4 inches off my belly and I can feel it.

So as we plunge in 2011, I am entering this year with a feeling of hope and  a feeling of "I believe I can do this" finally!! For years every new years would rolll around and I would be depressed because I was always a few pounds heavier than the year before, but NOT THIS YEAR!!!! This year I weigh less than I have in over 6 years and I am celebrating!!!

My husbands 50th bday is on Saturday. I am throwing him a little party for this monumental occasion and we are going on a 7 day cruise in Feb as the real celebration. I want to be in the 180s by my cruise mid Feb and I want to buy a cute little cocktail dress to wear on dress up night. That is my motivation. I also am going to stop making excuses not to exercise. I belong to a fabulous gym and although my workout partner abandoned me, I am going to have to pull it together & get there 3x a week. I also bought a new DVD kickboxing video with weighted gloves. Cant wait to try  it out! It has 3 levels, beginner, intermediate & advanced so I like that and they are 30 - 45 mins in duration. I dont have the stamina to do an hr yet.

Well, I have to go in to work to help do year end inventory. The surgery center I work for is so behind the times. Nothing is done in the computer....everything is manual!!! So ridiculous!! They make so much more work for us and we waste so much paper doing everything manually. We even have to count the cottonballs!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

Well girls, have a wonderful day!! I will post tomorrow too to send my new years wishes!!!
p.s I havent cried in 3 days!!!! I think my antidepressant is finally working!!!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Tuesday Evening Post!

Hello to all my "Skinny Sisters"!!

Well, I am happy to report that I am feeling sooooo much better today. My tummy is back to normal and I have not cried once today!! This is the first day in about a month that I havent cried and that feels like a victory of sorts for me. Yippee!!

I went to work this morning. I got dressed @ home as usual, went to slip on my favorite Levis and can I just tell you....they feel so comfortable now and are starting to get roomy!!! They were so tight on me for the longest time I wasnt able to wear them, and if I did wear them, I had to wear them with a sweatshirt to conceal my tire that flowed over the waistband, but not today....nosirree!!! I wore a cute little top and those Levis and I felt great in them. No snausage feeling!!! As I have told you all before, I work in a suregery center and we have to wear the provided scrubs for sanitary purposes. So I went to work today, I grabbed my usual scrubs (XL pants & a large top) and I almost couldnt believe it when I put them both on....they are getting really big on me!!! It was the BEST feeling ever!!! I like the roominess now but I think another 10# and I will be reaching for the Large pants & a medium top! Ya know, it really is true what they say....NOTHING FEELS AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS!! Now, by no means am I thin, but you get the jist of what I am saying.

So I am excited to usher in a new year and I cannot wait to watch my transformation in 2011. I am really going to focus on getting me healthy emotionally and physically. I want to look HOT for once in my life and I feel bound and determined that this is gonna be MY year to make it happen!! Oh boy....Look out!!!

Thanks to everyone who made such kind comments while I was going through my hard times this month. I have one more thing that I know is going to happen this month that is going to be sad for me but it is inevitable and I just need to make the phone call & do it. I have been a Sales Director with Mary Kay Cosmetics for 7 yrs. I led my unit to the prestigious $300,000 Circle of achievement in 2006 and we were the #2 Unit in our National Area 2 yrs in a row. Well, the past year, my unit died. I have been trying to resurrect the dead for the past 14 months and I am coming to realize that I am not Jesus and I cannot make them rise from the dead. If we dont meet our production goal of $4,000 this month, I will be forced to resign. As of today, we have a little over $2,000 in and I am not putting the rest in myself without the sales to back it up. It is a heartbreaking decision as I love the company and I love my unit, but I think the time has come when I need to bury the dead and move forward and focus my energy on getting myself healthy again. I am going to have to make that call on Thurs unless a miracle happens between now and then. Say a prayer for me....its not going to be easy to do.

Well, I better get going. Have to pack lunch for tomorrow & get ready for bed.
I love you all so dearly!! Thanks for being my friends!!


Monday, December 27, 2010

Its official...I got the flu!

Well, it was an interesting day yesterday. Woke up feeling hot, my legs ached like I did 100 squats and had a bad stomache ache. Ended up spending the day in the bathroom with the intestinal flu....NOT GOOD! I ended up missing our christmas get together with my family yesterday and spent most of the day in bed. That really bummed me out because I love being with my family but I didnt want to share my bug with them. I was up most of the night with the body aches & tummy rumbling and called my boss last night to give her a heads up that if I didnt feel better by morning that I wouldnt be in for work. The last 3 months have been so difficult on me both emotionally & physically. With the problems with my daughter, my husband,  the death of my friends husband earlier this month and top it all off dealing with depression.... I really cant wait for 2010 to go!
I feel like Eyore the donkey from Winnie the Pooh lately, hes always down & telling a sad tale. I feel like my life has been a constant downer since Oct.  I need a fresh start, a new beginning. because Im just downright exhausted from all of this! Ok, Im done. Thanks for letting me vent. I know that this is all miniscule compared to what others have to endure.

On a weight loss note, I lost 3# and I am officially in Onderland until I start eating again! I was 198.5 as of this morning. Not the best weight loss plan to be on, thats for sure and it will probably find me again once I start eating normally again.

I hope you are all doing good. Thanks for listening and allowing me to vent.


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Happy Sunday after Christmas!

Hello dear ones!

Merry Christmas to you all!!

I am sorry I didnt post the past few days, but you all know...its just busy! I hope you all got wonderful surprises for Christmas this year and that the time spent with family was wonderful! I got a beautiful jewelry armoire, a 30 minute massage gift certificate, my favorite perfume along with the lotion & shower gel and an electric can opener. I have a fit every time I have to open a can because my handheld can opener is a piece of crap, so my hubby bought me an electric one....and it works like a champ!! My husband told me that for Valentines Day, he is buying me a pair of diamond stud earrings when we are in the Caribbean. We will be on a cruise from Feb 12-19th so we are going to our favorite little jeweler in St. Thomas to see what they have. Things are much better on the homefront & my husband has done a 180. He told me that he will never let the opportunity arise again to take me for granted. I thought that was a really sweet thing to say and I see that he really does love me and wants to make it work, so thats a good thing for sure!

Christmas Eve we had my husbands family over for dinner...that only lasted 3 hrs. We only see them once a yr and we are all local. How sad huh? I do see my husbands sister quite a bit as she is his only living sibling but his brothers wife (his brother died 4 yrs ago) & her children could care less about doing anything with us. You can tell that everything is done out of "obligation". It hurts my husbands feelings so bad as his family is dwindling down smaller & smaller as the years pass. Anyways, we spent Christmas eve with our girls just hanging out at home. We watched Elf & let the girls open a couple of their presents. Christmas Day is usually spent with my family but this year, with it falling on a Saturday, my uncle (hes a priest) couldnt come home til Sunday due to masses, so we are celebrating later today. I hope to be joining them but not sure if I will be able to go. I woke up with a bad belly ache & have had a bout of "the runs" all morning. I pray that it is short lived because I was really looking forward to spending time with my family today. We are having homemade spaghetti & meatballs. We decided to do something different this yr. I have to tell you...the thought of eating spaghetti today really turns the ole tummy. Might have to make some brown rice to take for myself if this passes.

So here I sit....thinking to myself, what a month this has been! So much stress & sadness and so many tears I could float down the street on a raft on all those tears. I pray every day that God will make things better for me emotionally and that this sadness will lift soon. I am taking the antidepresssant & I have noticed a little difference but I still have my moments where I willhave a wave of sadness go over me that brings me to tears. It is unexplainable. I feel like the people on the Cymbalta commmercial who are crying....thats me.  My husband feels bad that I am so sad & keeps asking me what he can do, but there is really nothing he can do. Its depression and I need to work through it. Its just gonna take some time. I told him the best thing he can do is to just let me cry it out. Im sure that it is getting old because I cry every day, mostly at night when I have time to think about things. So say a prayer for me that this will lift. I hate this feeling and I want the old me back!!

On a weight loss note, looks like I am pretty close to the 200# mark as of this am. I really want to be in the 190s by the end of the week!! That would be so exciting if that happens and I feel so motivated to see that goal through! For the first time in a really long time, I feel a sense of hope with my weight loss efforts and I really believe that this year, I am going to finally hit my goal weight of 161. Even though the stress diet that I have been on isnt the ideal means, it has given me the push I needed to realize that I can do it!!!

Well, I will wrap this up for now. I think Ice rambled enough.Have a great day and keep in touch!!

Love to all!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Thurs morning Post...2 days til Christmas!

Good morning friends!

Well, here we are, 2 days away from Christmas and I am still not in the mood to celebrate. Christmas is my favorite holiday and for some reason this year, I just dont have the christmas spirit. It makes me sad but I think that all the things that have happened in the last 2 months have contributed to my lack of enthusiasm in the holiday. I do feel like my antidepressant is finally kicking in but I still have my days where I just need a good cry to get it out of my system & feel better. Anyways, I am gonna pull it from my toes & try to find that Christmas spirit this year. I am hosting christmas eve dinner for the in laws this year (we all take turns) & I have to cook my ham today as well as do some overhaul cleaning. uggh! I am getting my hair colored & highlighted @ 11:15 today too and I think I am going to also weigh in befire I go to the beauty shop.

On a positive note, my scale says Im down a pound this week which is good since it hasnt been a full week. I have been weighing in on Saturdays now. I will let you know the official number later today. I know that ham is gonna make me retain water & feel all bloated...yuck! My family is celebrating on Sunday & we are having spaghetti this year as something different. I like spaghetti but its not on my top 10 list of fav foods so I know I will have control. I do love a good meatball though! Anyways, I am finding that I am telling myself that the food doesnt have control over me anymore & I believe it and it has made it easier to resist temptation. I rolled out my cutout cookies last night and was able to have just 1. It was very good too and I enjoyed it and I have no guilt or regret about eating it where before I would pop 3 or 4 in my mouth without thinking and then feel bad that I ate them. So I would say that is progress. I also took my waist measurements this am. Waist is now 39 (was 43) and abdomen is now 43 (was 47) so thats a total of 8 inches lost from my belly and I couldnt be happier! My clothes are fitting so much better and I have been wearing my fav Levis alot now. Before I lost this weight, I just couldnt wear them for anything more than an hr becuase the waistband dug into my belly and I had a big ole roll flowing over it. I had to wear it with a sweatshirt too so it would camoflage the roll but now I am able to wear it with a normal top.I feel that in itself is a victory.

 I bought a beautiful cobolt blue sweater with blue sequins for Christmas. I am going to wear it with my black dress slacks that are now getting quite baggy on me but they still look nice and I have some really beautiful silver jewelry to wear with it. Weather depending, I may wear my pretty dress boots with a heel or if we have no snow, might just wear my black patent leather pumps. Will have to wait on that one. So gonna have a fresh new hairdo, got my nails done and feel great in my new christmas outfit. I feel like a million bucks in that sweater for some reason....I think its the color....I look good in bright pinks, blues & purples (although I dont usually buy purple because I feel like a grape in it! lol)

Ok, well I better get a move on it here. I should be cleaning but I dont wanna! Can somebody send a cleaning lady my way please???

Have a great day & keep in touch! Love hearing from you all!


Monday, December 20, 2010

Happy Monday again!

Hello to all my BFC Sisters!

Well, Here it is...Christmas week. I can hardly believe it! Where has the time gone...the year gone?? Why after all this time passing dont I look a day past 25?? (hahahaha! yeah, right! I wish!) As another year is coming to a close, and it makes me melancholy. So many things happened this year, some very good that made me so happy ,and it seems quite a few things happened that I will be glad to put int the past for sure. But one thing I am happy about, I will be ringing the new year in @ a weight I havent seen in 6 yrs!! 6 yrs!! Every new years I have felt so sad because I never hit my weight loss goal for the year. The goal has always been the weigh what I weighed when I got married...161.

So once again, my goal will be to weigh 161 this next year. To get healthier, to exercise more, to be happy with myself. To be proud of every pound I lose and not beat myself up when I have a slip up. To look in the mirror & like what I see but to also love the person staring back at me. I havent been able to do that for a very long time. To forgive myself for the many many attempts I have had at dieting in the past that have failed where I have told myself that I am also a failure. This year, I am going to find ME again!! I feel like I have been lost & wandering aimlessly for so many years....I am going to be 45 yrs old in Sept. Half of my life has passed me by and I am still unhappy & overweight. NO MORE!!!! I am reclaiming my life in 2011!! I am going to do nice things for myself like get my nails done, get a pedicure or massage because I am worth it!! I hope that each of you will join me as we ring in this new year in a couple of weeks with a BIG goal for yourself. I truly believe that this IS FINALLY going to be my year!!!

I have decided to make monthly goals to make the big goal of 161 easier to attain. They say you cant eat an elephant in one bite, but you can eat it piece by piece. So my goal for Dec is to get into the 190's. I dont care if it is 199.5...that is the goal so another 2# by Dec 31st....totally do able! Then my goal for January is to get to 189.5. OMG...I cant tell you the last time I weighed 189.5!! I want to leave for my cruise on Feb 12th @ 185. It may seem lofty to reach for a 16.5# weight loss by Feb 12th, but I am gonna do my best to make it happen!! I want to feel good in my bathing suit. I dont want to wear my size 18W suit...I want to wear my 16...or better yet my size 14 swimsuit. So thats what I am reaching for and I believe that I will do it!!

All of the stress I have had in November & December definitely added to my loss of appetite & rapid loss of about 9# but it was a catalyst to give me the push I needed to get going. It has breathed belief in me again! My husband and I were laying in bed talking last night & I told him these same things I just wrote. I told him that I am going to once & for all lose this weight because it has been a demon I have been fighting all my life.
He has been very supportive and there has been such a change in how he treats me & how he treats the girls. I feel like peace has been restored to my life again....and it is a wonderful feeling to have that back.

Well, look at this post! Geez Louise....sorry its so long but I wanted to share my thoughts. I would love to hear your 2011 goals for yourself. Please be sure to post them in the comments & we will cheer each other on!!!

Have a great evening!! 
Love to all & warm fuzzy ((HUGS))

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Onederland is getting close!!!

Hey girls!!
Omigosh!!! Omigosh!! Omigosh!!! I cant believe it!!! I weighed in this morning and lost of 11.8# and I am 2# away from being in the 190's!!! Official weight was 201.2. I can hardly believe it!! I feel like I have been spinning in neutral for such a long long time and to see these numbers again on the scale is just so thrilling!!! I AM gonna be in ONEDERLAND for Christmas & not New Years like I had hoped.Makes me even more motivated to work harder. Oh...and my measurements are down too!! Waist is 39 1/2 now from 43 and belly is down to 44 from 47. Yippee!! My pants are getting bigger & I love that feeling!!!

All is good here....just trying to get some last minute things done. My daughter (12 yo) wanted to make cookies so I made 3 differnet doughs yesterday & will bake them when I get time. I made Reese cup cookies & didnt have the desire to have one!! Now THAT is an accomplishment for sure. I have to make cutouts and those.....well, those are really a downfall of mine. I am gonna have to make em & freeze immediately. I am having Christmas Eve for the in laws at our house this year so the cookies will be dessert.

My best friend called me today, she is still having a hard time with everything. Please continue to pray for her & her children. This is such a hard time for so many @ Christmas....My heart just breaks for them.

Thanks to everyone who posted comments. It is so good to feel back in the loop again.

Have a great day!
Love to all!!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Its Friday!

Hello friends!!

Well, thank goodness its Friday!! I worked all week & I need a day off to recover but so much to do with Christmas a week away! I am feeling better emotionally although I do get weepy in the evening so just trying to get that under control. Taking Wellbutrin 2x day now & it does take the edge off. My youngest daughter told me the other day that the only thing she wanted for Christmas was for me to be in the christmas spirit. Really made me feel bad that this has affected my kids but this depression is beyond my control. I told her I will do my best and that I am taking medicine to help me feel better. My husband has been great through all of this and to be honest,I dont know if I could have got through the death of my friends husband without him.

I have noticed one thing though...the antidepressant has taken my appetite away quite a bit since I have been taking it. I am 3# away from being in the 190's and I am so fricken excited about that!! I know the stress diet that I have been on the past few weeks is not the ideal way to lose but it has given me yhe push I needed to feel hopeful & to work harder to get there. I felt like I was "spinning in neutral"...I would lose & gain the same 3# it seemed but now with the 190s in sight, I am excited to press on & finally do it this year!!! I have not been following BFC for some time now due to all the stress & inability to focus with everything that has happened in the past month. I did go back to Weight Watchers with my sister (who has lost 17# since Sept!) because I wanted to continue to support her & she has been a great inspiration to me as well as a great support person & friend. She definitely has a soggy shoulder from all my tears but she just encourages me that every day will get better & that I can do this. I am going to continue my blog & I hope that you all arent disappointed in me but right now, this is what I feel is best for me to do  right now. Anyways, I feel that no matter what plan we are following, we all have on common goal...weight loss!! Even though we have never met, I feel like you are all such dear friends & I love the support of my online "sisters" and I will continue to cheer each one of you on as you get skinnier & skinnier!

Well, I better get going & get some things done. Have a great day & weekend. My daughter wants to make cookies so that is what we are going to do!

Love to all!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Its Monday

Hello dear ones!!!
Well, It was back to work for me today and another long work week ahead. Thanks to Minichick & Diana for checking in on me. I havent posted much....just not in the mood to be on the computer & feel like I have been nothing but a downer lately. Nobody likes that.

Anyways, not much going on here. Got myself back on track today with my eating so thats a good thing. I think my antidepressant is starting to kick in  cuz I havent cried yet today, another good thing. I made an appt to get my nails done next Tues. My hubby told me that if it makes me feel better than I should go for it so I am excited about that. I used to get my nails done yrs ago and I just loved the way they looked. Yes, not a cheap date by any means but I think it will do me some good to do something nice for myself. I am about 5# away from Onederland. I got n the scale this morning & it said 205.5, up a little as I was down to 203.5, but thats ok. I didnt keep track of a thing last week with the funeral etc,so just gonna get back on the wagon. I know that I am going to be in the 190s by the end of this year and I am going to be in the 180s by the time our cruise rolls around in Feb. Its exciting to have my pants fitting better & I can see & feel a definite difference which is the push I needed to give me hope with my journey. I lost my sneakers so I am gonna have to buy a new pair so I can go to the gym. For the life of me I cant find them!!!

I hope you are all doing well. I miss reading all the blogs & am gonna try to catch up on all of your progress this week. Thanks again to everyone for your loving words & concern. You are all the best!!!!

Have a wonderful day!!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Good morning!
Well, you just wont believe this..... I can hardly believe it myself. My best friend called me yesterday morning @ 730am as I was getting ready to walk out the door for work. She was crying. What she told me was something I never in a million yrs would ever expected to hear....and it rocked my world to the core of my being!!! She told me that her husband of almost 20 yrs committed suicide. He hung himself in their basement. She found him, had to cut him down with the help of their 16 yr old daughter & did CPR on him until paramedics came, but she knew he was already gone . He was an educated man, a good man....just distraught by financial woes & overwhelmed by family problems that they were going through. No note was left. Now my best friend is left a distraught widow with major financial issues as well as some chronic health problems that she has been dealing wtih for many years & 5 children as well as herself who are wondering why this happened & how they will pick up the pieces. He was only 49.

I ask for your prayers for her and her children. Her name is Laura. She and I have been best friends since our first day of nursing school. She is like a sister to me....we are truly "sisters by heart". We were each others maid of honors in our weddings.  I was there for 12 hrs yesterday & am headed back there in a couple of hrs. to do whatever I can do. Right now I am trying to process this & decompress from the unbelievable sadness I am feeling for my best friend.I am at a loss of what to say. It is beyond me how & why this has happened. He wasnt the type of person to do something so irrational. He loved Laurie....he loved his kids. What was he thinking? Now they are left with a lifetime of sadness, guilt & a huge void that will never be filled. My heart is shattered for them.

I am sorry for yet another sad post.....but unfortunately this is my life lately. I saw my Dr today & he started me on an antidepressant. My husband has been absolutely wonderful & such a tragic situation has made me realize how precious, short & fragile that life is....and I am appreciating him more than ever and all of my blessings. My friend keeps asking for her husband to come back...I wish I had a magic wand to bring him back.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Just breathe.....

Good morning to my wonderful BFC girlfriends!!
I feel badly that I havent posted anything re: the BFC in a while. Im sorry my emotional baggage has gotten in the way here, but it feel cathartic to wrire about his and I am going out today to buy a journal so that I can write down my feelings as I deal with the immense healing that needs to happen in the future.
Every time I read your posts, they continue to bring tears to my eyes & make me realize that I am not alone & that I am so blessed to have you all in my circle. Things are calm here on the homefront but there is an emptiness in my heart that I just cant understand. Hes really trying hard & its nice to see the girls happy....but Im still not feeling happy inside. I feel such a HUGE void & while I believe I still love him, I am not sure if it will ever be the same. While I was in church this morning I could hardly concentrate on what the priest had to say. I am going to give the marriage counseling a good "go" but I just dont know what will transpire. Perhaps the years of abuse have taken their toll? I dont know. I truly think I need to get on the antidepressant asap to help with the ups & downs. My emotions are so labile throughout the day...I can look in the mirror or be driving and all of a sudden...BOOM...I am sobbing!!! The only way I can describe it is feeling "hollow" & just such an immense void. It is like nothing I have ever experienced before. I am looking forward to seeing my counselor on Wed. She makes me feel so much better when I talk to her. I am also desperately trying to dig seep into my faith to help me through this. I was crying yesterday afternoon when nobody was home & was feeling quite despondent. I kept asking God to take the hurt away & I felt compelled to reach for the Bible for his response to me. I used to do that yrs ago...when I wanted God to speak to me, I would just close my eyes, flip through the pages & wherever my eyes landed was what I felt he wanted me to hear. Yesterday, was no different. when I opened the book this is what I read.

 I opened it to Isaiah, Chapter 43...Promises of Redeption & Restoration.

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you: I have called you by name and you are mine.
When you pass through the water, I will be with you: in the rivers you shall not drown.
When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned: the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God, the holy one of Israel, your savior.
Because you are precious in my eyes and glorious and because I love you.
Fear not, for I am with you."

This passage was exactly what I needed to hear!! I am Catholic & feel that I have been a woman of faith all my life. My parents raised us to be good people & to rely on your faith always. I remember in 2000 our parish had a "Mission". they had a priest come in from Cleveland who conducted the mission & it was amazing!It was filled with many different facets of spirituality such as love, healing, forgiveness etc. There is a song called "You are mine" and they played it on one of the nights of the mission and I can remember telling God that anytime he wanted to get my attention, when I heard that song I would know that he is speaking to me personally. Every time I hear the song, it brings tears to my eyes because it has such a powerful meaning in my life. The words taken from this passage are the words in the song "you are mine". Coincidence? I think not.  I know that God is going to help me through this difficult time. I know that I am "in the palm of his hand".I am  holding on tight to my faith.....and my friends.

Well...I better go be productive. Thanks so much for listening.
Love you all!!!
p.s Special thanks to Lisa for your touching life experience that you shared in your last post. ((HUG)) You truly are a strong woman!!! I know that I am too. I just have to find myself again.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

For my "peeps!"

Thanks girls for all your wonderful supportive posts. Your kind words bring tears to my eyes & it is so good to know that I have you all to sound off to. Even though I have never met any of you in person, I truly feel like I know you all by heart! You are all such a blessing to me!!!THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!!

I came home this morning to find a vase of roses on the kitchen counter for me. 3 red roses with some babys breath. It was lovely. He came up to me, handed them to me, gave me a hug & kiss & said that he was very sorry. I beleive that he is and I do believe that he wants to change & make this work.We have communicated better in the last 24 hrs than we have in years. I am still feeling sad & kind of weepy but am gonna go see my Dr next week for a little "happy pill" to take the edge off. I really think I need it. My sisters took me out this morning for breakfast & I have eaten pretty much just toast for the past week & I ate a ham & cheese omelette & some hash browns & all I can say is...I am paying for it with upset tummy & diarrhea now. Oh boy!!! Sorry if it is TMI. I think it was just way too much at one time, but I was hungry. Went to bed last night with my stomach growling so I was famished this am!!

Anyways, hope you are all doing great. Just trying to pull myself together. Im so tired!!!!

Love you all!!!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Update..."Come to Jesus" moment!

Hello dear ones!

Well, I cried all the way home from work tonite and when hubby walked in the door, he saw me & asked what was wrong. I told him that his behavior is tearing me and our family apart & if he isnt willing to get help, that I am going to leave. I told him that his decision is the "breaking point" & that I am ready to hire an attorney for a divorce. We had a heart to heart and discussed things civilly & have decided to get some marraige counseling and he has agreed to attend anger management. We talked with the girls tonite & told them that our home is going to be more peaceful and that we are going to work hard to heal our marriage.

So we shall see how this transpires. I beleive that he does want to change and  that perhaps there may be hope. My marriage has been broken for the past few yrs & we arent going to be singing kumbaya & making smores anytime soon.....but I do believe that progress has been made.

I am exhausted emotionally & physically. Going to lay in bed for a while now & just chill out. Thanks to eveyone for being my friends & listening.

Love ~

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Thank you!

Hey girls!
My apologies for being off topic here...I know I am supposed to be blogging about my BFC life but it seems my life feels like it is falling apart @ the seams lately & I am desperately trying to keep it all together....not doing a very good job @ it though.

Well, as I said in my comments on my last post in Blah blah blah, I am facing some huge emotional issues here @ home & some big decisions to make as to whether to stay or to go. My husband has anger issues that he refuses to acknowlege & although he has never physically hurt me or my children, the emotional scars are deep wounds. He refuses to get counseling and I know that after 17 yrs, I cannot change him, especially if he doesnt want to change. He yells ALOT!!! Most of the time...its over stupid stuff. The other night, he was yelling because my dtr had the phone, I went to turn the heat up cuz I was cold & he yelled @ me. He yelled from the time he got home from work...cant even tell you what else he was yelling about...its always dumb things that upset him. Anyways, I was laying in bed cuz I was cold & still not feeling good & starting crying. Decided that I just needed to get away & was gonna drive to my parents house & sleep overnite there to think & clear my head. My youngest dtr say my packed bag & asked me where I was going. I told her I was gonna sleep over Nanas & he overheard it, came out to the kitchen & yelled asking me why? I said I am tired of the yelling & I needed to clear my head. He then proceeded to yell, telling me that he is going to move out & he will give me the peace that I have been looking for. as usual, I start saying "no, you stay & I'll go" . He grabs his coat & out the door he goes. I continue to tell him to stay & he leaves. Once again, I am left to feel like the bad guy. He has a way of manipulatling us & twisting every situation to look like its our fault....because its NEVER his fault. I texted him to come home so we could talk. He called me & said "what do you want?!" I said "come home & we can talk". He did & I could barely muster the enrgy to speak. I told him that I am tired of the yelling & that he needs to get help for his anger issues. (I have been telling him this for yrs.) He refuses to go to counseling & refuses to get help for his anger.  We are constantly on guard to watch what we say as little things can piss him off easily. I find myself saying to my girls things like "now dont do this...or dont do that cuz you dont want to get him mad". The saddest part of this whole situation....this has gone on for many years. It has been the "norm" & I have justified his behavior for a very long time!! I went to see a counselor yesterday & I told her my story &  after 15 minutes she said to me "why do you stay"? & I said "for security". She then said to me "you are emotionally battered & need to get out" This is not a healthy relationship for you and your girls & it is destroying you". I felt like I got hit by a 2x4 to the head when she said that! She said to me "why are you apologizing for his behavior?" I thought "OMG...I do that all the time & dont even realize I am doing it". There was so much more said, way too much to tell here.....but I am trying my best to figure this out & plan my next steps. She recommended getting legal advice as well as some abuse counseling. I will also see her again next week. I can have 6 sessions for free with her & she is really a great counselor. She makes me feel good & is heping me to see clarity. The one thing that he does is that after HE gets angry he usually tries to lay a guilt trip on us & then will "punish" us by ignoring us or giving us the cold shoulder. I remember one time my daughter (14 yr old) made him mad about something re: to her softball....I think it was practincing or something dumb like that.....anyways, he didnt talk to her for DAYS because he was so angry @ her. There are so many other instances....oh my many!!! Like last yr, for my birthday I suggested we go take a day trip to go shopping & then go to lunch for my bday & he told me " I would rather gouge my eyes out with spoons then spend the day shopping". Nice huh? That made me cry & to this day still cuts me like a knife!! Then 2 weeks later, I needed a D&C because I was hemorrhaging to death & I called him from the Drs office & told him that because I had eaten, I had to have my surgery the following day (Sat) & that I would need a ride to the hospital & his first response was " You are gonna have to figure something out because I have games to officiate that day". I called my mother sobbing. She said she would take me. I cried, and cried & cried that day. Came home to find him sitting in the chair. My mother had called him & in her kind way Im sure, told him what she thought. He called & cancelled his plans & said he was going to take me to  the hospital but I didnt want him there. I can keep going on & on...but I wont. I have ignored this for far too long & I know that I need to take action but it is almost paralyzing to think about it. I never wanted a divorce! I live in a nice house....I have  a good job. Im educated...this kind of thing doesnt happen to people like me? but as I am does. (sigh) I just cant believe it.

So here I sit, scared....feeling broken & not believing that this is happening to me. She told me that these things happen to nice, educated people. She told me Im not crazy, not making a mountain out of a mole hill & that this is NOT how someone who loves you treats you. I am emotionally exhausted!!! I dont want my kids to be screwed up but unfortunately they are already victims of this abuse because this is the norm of their life. He doesnt see anything wrong with his behavior & ALWAYS turns it around to make me feel like it is MY fault & not his. That is so hard to deal with because after a while, you believe it & then I find myself apologizing to him. It happens every time.

I am losing weight rapidly....I am down 7# since this past Sat (down to 203.5 as of today)& I cant help it. Food doesnt taste good & I am nauseated all the time. I get this way when I am upset or my "nerves" act up & I know it isnt the way to lose weight but I honestly cant control it. I just feel sick!!! I have wonderful friends & family who support me & I am grateful for that. My sisters & girlfriends have been telling me for the past few yrs that I am crazy for staying. I havent said anything to my parents...I think it would devastate them although deep down, I think they too know the truth. I am afraid to be on my own & living the rest of my life alone. I want to be happy again...I want my joy back. I want to be loved. But its not all about me...I have daughters involved who I worry may think this is acceptable for a man to treat them this way. How have I allowed this to happen?? I am so embarrassed, so sad, so scared!! Please please pray for me to find the strength & courage & wisdom to make the right decisions I know we are all cyber girlfriends but I am thankful for each one of you!!! You are great listeners!!! Sorry this was such a long post.

Love to you all!!!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

a whole lot of blah blah blah....

Good morning! Sorry I have been off the radar lately....lots going on here @ home.... Overwhelming sadness over some marital & life issues & just trying to cope & figure out how to work through them or if I want to. Please pray for me for peace & guidance & clarity in my next steps.

I am down to the lowest weight I have seen on the scale in 6 yrs!!! Scale said this morning I am 204.5!!!! I had to get on twice to see if it was true. Anyways, really not hungry at all lately & it is an effort to eat. I know, how crazy is that?!!! I have not been following BFC since Sat....nothing sounds good to me and I am just eating to silence the rumbles.

Please know that I havent forgotten my friends....just trying to work through some things here.

Love & Hugs

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Its Saturday again!!

Hello Friends!

Well, got on the scale today & looks like I am DOWN now...thank goodness!!! Looks like the 2# that I was up yestrday are gone. I know its all water weight. Do any of you find that when you exercise the day before you weigh in, you always weigh in heavier? I am finding that to be true with me. Maybe I wont exercise before weigh ins ..... just sayin...

Lots to do today, cleaning, grocery shopping & decorating for the holidays. I cleaned the bathroom, (2 more to go!) & family room & living room & am getting ready to vacuum the upstairs. I have a pretty big house (3,000+ sq ft)  & let me tell you, had I known what a pain it would be to upkeep, I wouldnt have built one this big. Its no fun cleaning this place!!! Used to have a cleaning lady come in every 2 weeks but that got a bit pricey....but oh.....I miss her!! She was FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you are all doing great!!

((Skinny Hugs to all my BFC Buds))

Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday Post....

Good morning BFC Buds!

Well, Thanksgiving was its usual fanfare for my family. My mother, as always, made a delicious meal and there were barely any leftovers. I think she was surprised at that. I went a little overboard on the carbs yesterday & am feeling it today for sure! I had  turkey, about 1/2 c stuffing & about 1/2 c mashed potatoes with gravy, then some of my 7 layer salad, 1 T. of my moms homemade applesauce (for a taste...hers tastes like apple pie!! OMG..soooo good!!)  & 1 T corn. The green beans were icky. My sister put lemon juice on them & it ruined the taste. For dessert I had a small pc of pumpkin custard that I made & 1 bite of my sisters apple pie (just to taste was really good!) My tummy was happy & although I know I went overboard on the carbs, I know I could have done much much worse. We got home around 8:45 pm & I got in  my jammies & watched some tv then hit the hay. I have to say, i felt very bloated from the stuffing & mashed potatoes & I am not even hungry yet this morning which my stomach is usually growling by this time. It was a special occasion, I enjoyed myself, & I am moving on today. I refuse to beat myself up for anything I ate. I know this to be true.  I dont feel as good when I am not as "on track" as I should be. I believe those hidden sugars really do wreak havoc in our bodies. I have felt so good being off of them and having that bite of pie really proved it to me, I am losing that desire for sweet stuff. It was good but just not as good as I remember it to be in the past & not sure if its worth it. I think having the control to stop at one bite is difficult but you have to know the limits because the more you feed the "sugar monster" the more you will want & it will get out of control. I think its all in the head & pshychlogically, my head was missing it, but my body tells me otherwise. I mentioned that I slipped up a few times during the week. I ate some yogurt that I really like & had a few more carb servings here & there that werent in alignment with the program...and you know what? It didnt feel good & I felt kind of out of control although I really least not that bad. I am back on track today & I did get on the scale this morning but I am going to officially weigh in tomorrow. I am retaining fluid from all the carbs & am gonna drink lots of water today to try to flush out the excess sodium & fluid my body is holding on to today.

I am going to head to the gym again today for about an hr or so, then have some errands to run & then gonna do some cleaning. I hope you all had a great holiday with your family & friends!! Have a great Friday & if you are out there shopping today....God Bless you! I hate the Black Friday craziness & there is nothing that will get this girl outta bed in the wee hrs to go shopping.

Love to all my "sisters" and ((Big Hugs)) too!!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

One hr in!!!

Ok, I went to the gym this morning after a long hiatus from there. It felt great! Did one full hr on the elliptical & burned over 500 cals. Watched an hr of Will & grace on Lifetime....OMG, sooo funny! I was laughing out loud while I was exercising. The people around me must have thought I was crazy. Oh well, I dont care. It made the time go by effortlessly. I am going again tomorrow too! Gotta get back into the swing of things again.
Have a good day girls!!

Happy Turkey Day!

Good Morning to all my friends!!

I havent blogged in a few days...just havent been inspired to say anything. How pathetic, huh? Im not feeling any thinner, I was on the scale yest & it said I was on this morning...up 2#!!!!What gives??!! Tired of eating the same things & have bended the rules a bit over the past week. Im so tired of this being such a struggle. Why cant this be just a little bit easier for me?? Why do I always have to work 10x harder than anyone else to lose a pound? I just dont get it. Perhaps Im just having a bit of a pity party here....perhaps. But its how I feel. All I want is to get into the 190s by the end of the year. Its 8# away. What is wrong with me? I do have an underactive thyroid but I take synthroid & I had my bloodwork done 4 months ago. I dont think its that. I havent been exercising much because the heels hurt so much, but many have lost without exercising at all. So I just dont know. Im just frustrated.

Ok, Im done now. So its Thanksgiving. One of my most favorite holidays...not because of the wonderful food, but because of the meaning & the joining of family. I love that! I made some pumpkin custard & I am gonna enjoy a piece of it later tonight. It is made like pumpkin pie but has no crust & you make it with sugar substitute & fat free evaporated milk. It has some sugars in it, but I want the experience of having a slice of pumpkin pie today. It will be good for the soul!! Just took them out of the oven...they smell wonderful! My mom is making a wonderful dinner & I made my 7 layer salad to take also. I am going to have turkey, a little stuffing to taste, a little mashed potatoes & some salad & green beans & a small pc of pumpkin custard for dessert.Thats my menu & Im sticking to it. We decided to scale back on the dinner this year because my sister & I are trying to lose weight so it should be manageable. I am headed to the gym to work out too. My feet are only moderately sore today so I am gonna get 1/2 in on the elliptical. I need to go. It will make me feel better.

I do hope each one of you have a wonderful thanksgiving!! What a great sisterhood we have & I am thankful to each one of you...Rosalie, Diana, Minichick, Kasey, Susan, Lindsey & Lisa (and if I missed anyone too!!) for always being there to offer kind words and support in this journey. I promise I wont stay away a long time again!! Enjoy this wonderful day with your families and know that I am thankful for my BFC sister family!!!!

Love to all!!!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Monday Madness!!!

Hello to all my BFC Buds!!
Oh.....yesterday was such a blur!! So busy!!! Worked today til 5pm & I am just sitting here chillin out. My feet hurt & while I want ot hit the gym, my feet are telling me a different story. Anyways, not too much to tell these past few days. Feelin kinda blah! Its cold, rainy & dark when I leave work. I hate that! I am feeling pretty good & havent been very hungry lately. for some reason, nothing sounds good to me. What gives?

I hope you are all doing great! I cant wait to go & buy a new pair of jeans. I still feel chubby in those ole Levis that I love so much but I took my measurements the other day and I have lost a total of 4 inches! 2 inches from my belly & 2 inches from my waist. Thats exciting stuff!

Have a great Monday!!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Happy Saturday!

Hello once againto all  my BFC Buds!!

How is your day going? I am feeling much better today. I have achilles tendonitis in both feet and working 4 days this week nearly killed me!!! I was in such agony last night and was in tears from it. Made it difficult to do the bday party for my daughter but I managed & my husband was a big help. He let me go to bed after the skating party was over & I put my feet on a pillow with the heating pad & that does bring some relief. I almost contemplated taking a Tylenol w/ codeine that was left over from some dental surgery last year but I hate to take anything more than motrin or the anti inflammatory pills I take for the tendonits so I just went to bed. I went through very aggressive physical therapy 3x week over the summer as well as injections in the fat pads of both feet (they cant inject the achilles tendon cuz it could rupture it so they inject the surrounding tissues & it infiltrates the area) and got in relatively under control but I am having a flare up lately and with my job, as much as I love it, I have to be on my feet most of the time so @ the end of the day I can barely do anything but rest my "dogs" when I get home. May need to see the foot Dr again for some of that "liquid gold" he injects. Sorry if I was whiney last night in my post. Hard to be happy when your feet hurt.

So....we had pizza for dinner last night. My hubby bought 4 Papa Johns pizzas for the kids (9 of em slept over!) and I decided to only cut one bite & eat that, and I successfully did it and didnt take another bite! Rosalie, are you proud of that one? You are the "one bite" queen of the BFC Buds!! I was totally ok with the one bite too. Actually, it wasnt that great either. What I am finding is that some foods just dont taste as good as they used to. Do any of you find that too? So get this one....hows this for a Small Victory? I LOVE COCONUT!!! I mean I LOVE IT!!!  I have had 2 snack size almond  joy candy bars that were leftover from Halloween from my kids trick or treating (nobody else likes coconut in my house so they always make me eat anything w/ it in it) sitting on my dresser for over a week....and I have NO DESIRE to touch them!! Uh, that is the craziest thought ever!!! efore BFC, they wouldnt have been in the house 15 minutes!! So I am feeling a bit proud of those small little victories despite having a week where I gained. Last night for dinner I had a small taco salad w/ some taco chips (10 of them) and then for dessert I had a piece of Lisa gingerbread cake and I was happy as a clam!! They had DQ ice cream cake & I didnt even have a lick!!! I am super proud of that too cuz Geez Louise, who doestn like DQ cake...right?!! lol.

So that was my evening last night. Today has been busy but laid back. Weird huh? I met my sister this morning & then did some banking & ran to Wal Mart for a few things....($80+ later!!) . Cut up some fresh boneless chicken into cubes & dipped in egg beaters & oven fry coating & baked in pan coated in olive oil...ohhhh soooo delicious!! I cut up 3 chicken breasts & it made alot + enough for leftovers. Oven Fry is soooooo good and very BFC friendly too. If you havent tried it yet, get some!! It is way better than shake & bake & my family loves it!!!! I had 5 homemade chicken nuggets, dipped them in 2T real ranch dressing & Then I made some Trader Joes potato wedges (0/1) for 3 oz serving plus some corn for the family & green beans for me, which I was too full to eat the beans!! That was my supper. So good! :)

Well girls, I do hope you are all having a great day!!! Keep in touch!! I love our little group!!! You are all the best!!!
(Fuzzy Hugs!))

Friday, November 19, 2010

Friday Post....Weigh in Edition!!!

Hello Friends!
Well, not happy to report this, but I had a feeling....I weighed in 2# UP today!! What gives??!! I barely ate anything for dinner lsat night, passed up fabulous food @ the party, I only had a few tortilla chips & a couple dips of fresh salsa & a diet pepsi. I know, youre not supposed to drink diet pop! I do bend that rule a bit, I must confess. I feel like I am giving up my fruit & yogurt etc, so I havent kicked the diet pop completely. I have cut down drastically!!! I feel like somebody popped my balloon! I know many of you have had occasional gains & I know this will happen but I feel so frustrated & feel once again like "what am I trying so hard for?" Its not getting me anywhere". Pity party of one going on here, sorry to say. I will get over it & move on but I just need to vent about it.

I have been feeling very emotional lately, crying at the drop of a hat & feeling a bit blue. I am probably ovulating or something like that but I hate this up & down rollercoaster of emotions & I am ready to get off the ride, thank you very much! My pants dont feel looser & although I feel good, I cant put my finger on it, but I feel just down in the dumps the past few days. Ok, I will get off my soapbox now. thank you for listening.

Well, I have a bunch of 12 yr olds coming over in a hour for pizza & ice cream cake, then they are off to ice skating. My daughter is excited about it and I need to collect myself & put on a happy face. Sorry that this isnt  an upbeat post. Its just been one of those days.

I hope you are all doing great!! Have a wonderful evening!

((Skinny Minnie Hugs to all of you!!)) Thanks for listening.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Its Thursday!! Almost the weekend!!!

Hello to my BFC sisters!!
What a day today was? Is my life EVER going to slow down??? Worked all day from 8-4:30pm (didnt get out AGAIN til 5pm!) then dashed home, made a small taco salad & ate it with some tortilla chips & off we went again to a little get together to see my husbands cousin Carol who is in from Colorado to visit. We just got home a little bit ago & I need to go pack my lunch for tomorrow & then get ready for bed cuz I start work @ 7:30 am tomorrow. I am working more than usual this week and I gotta tell you, I love my part time gig! I have been lucky to work 3 days a week for the past 14 yrs & the thought of working full time makes me shudder....although I LOVE my co workers & it is a pleasure to go to work! I know, am I nuts or what?!!

 So I knew they were going to have food, but  I wasnt sure what they would have to eat there so I made sure I ate something beforehand. I made Lisa's recipe for Gingerbread Cake w/ Buttercream icing & it came out very good, but mine was a little dry. I think next time I make it, I am gonna add some pumpkin or a small container of applesauce to add some moisture. I love the taste of the almond flour and I figured the S/c value for a generous 1/6 slice & it came out to 2/1. If I add 3/4 c pumpkin it will only add another gram of sugar to each serving plus some extra fiber.... the recipe but it needs a little something least mine did. but I would definitely recommend  making it. I am gonna try making the Truvia recipe for cheesecake  gonna use the almond flour as a base for the crust. YUM!! I will let you know how it turns out.

So tomorrow is my weigh in day & for some reason, Im just not excited about it. I think cuz I dont feel like I have lost anything this week and I have been VERY VERY good on plan. Anyways, we shall see what transpires. Yes, my new car already has a ding in the passenger side door from somebody who was careless when opening their car door. I was very upset yesterday but today, Im just dealing wtih it. (*sigh) Tomorrow is work then my daughter is having her friend birthday party/ skating party/ sleepover. Not sure if I will be able to post tomorrow but I will try to at least post my weigh in.

Hope you all have a FABULOUS FRIDAY!!!
Love & Belief!

Heres the recipe for the Gingerbread cake! Enjoy & thanks to Lisa for sharing it!!!
((skinny hugs to all my BFC Buds))

Gingerbread Squares with Lemon Frosting,
It's from George Stella's Good Carb Family Cookbook
(great cookbook!!!)

1 1/2 c. almond flour
1/4 c. milled flax seed or flax seed meal
2/3 c. sugar substitute(i use Xylo-Sweet, which is Xylitol, i find this way better than stevia, no after taste what so ever!)
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 c. heavy cream (may use unsweetened almond milk)

Preheat the oven to 350. Spray an 8x8 baking dish or pan with vegetable oil spray. In a bowl whisk together the almond flour, milled flax seed, sugar substitute, baking powder, ginger, cinnamon and salt. In another bowl, whisk the eggs, vanilla and cream until frothy. Combine the dry and wet ingredients. Pour into prepared pan and bake for about 25 minutes

Lemon Frosting
8 oz. cream cheese
1/2 c. sugar substitute
2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1 tsp. lemon zest
Combine until blended

I did not use the lemon frosting, i made buttercream frosting, here's that recipe:
2 tbsp. butter
4 oz. cream cheese
6 tbsp. sugar substitute
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Cut into 9 squares, George only gives us net carbs, so this has 4 net carbs per bar and 3g fiber.

S/C is 2/1 for 1/6 of recipe including icing.
** my recipe came out a bit dry so I am planning to make the next recipe with pumpkin or 1/2 c unsweetened applesauce to add some moisture.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Recipe swap!!

Please feel free to share any great "Belly Good" recipes Below & be sure to include the S/C values for your fellow Sisters!!

Bon appetite!

Broccoli Salad

4 cups washed/chopped broccoli florets (8/2)
1/2-1lb shredded cheddar cheese (I think 1 cup would be plenty) (0/0)
1 small onion chopped (4/1) (**Recipe calls for red onion. I dont care for alot of onion in anything so I would not personally use an entire onion)
1/2- 1 # turkey bacon, cook & crumble (0/0)
(I use Oscar Meyer Turkey Bacon & pan fry it on my electric skillet & it comes out perfect!!!)

1/2 c mayonnaise (0/0)
1 Tablespoon Vinegar (0/0)
6 packets Truvia (0/0)
Mix, wait & stir again.

In a large bowl mix sauce with broccoli, cheese, onion & bacon. Toss well & refrigerate.
Makes 8- 1/2 cup servings.
S/C value for total recipe   12/3
S/C per 1/2 cup serving  1.5/0
S/C per 1 cup serving  3/1

Seven Layer Salad

1 head of iceberg lettuce, washed & torn into small pieces (1 c. iceberg lettuce = S/C 1/0
Im not sure how many cups 1 head of lettuce yields so you will have to measure. I am going to say one head yields 6-8 cups as a guesstimate so I will calaculate 8/1 for the lettuce)
1 cup celery, chopped (2/0)
4 hard boiled eggs, diced (0/0)
1.5 cups frozen peas (12/2)
3-4 scallion green onions, chopped (0/0)
8 slices cooked turkey bacon, crumbled (0/0)

1 1/2 C- 2 C mayonnaise + 1-2 packets Truvia (0/0) (use 2 pkts for 2c mayo, 1 pkt for 1 1/2 c mayo)
4 oz shredded cheddar cheese (0/0) (I use Sargento Light Mild cheddar)

Mix mayo & Truvia together. Layer vegetable ingredients in order of recipe in a large Tupperware or your favorite serving bowl but make sure its a big container.  Spread mayo layer over & top with cheese. Refrigerate & serve.
This recipe makes ALOT!!! One recipe is enough to serve 15-20 guests. I have a big family of 20 + & there is always lots leftover!

S/C for the entire recipe 26/3
I am guesstimating this value the best I can here. The total carbohydrate count for the entire recipe, taken from Jorge's BFC Sugar & Carb Counter is 59 gms carbohydrate. (By cutting the recipe into 1/15 each serving would be 2/0. (3.93 gms carb which is under 4gms so the carb count would count as zero.)
 Thats what I will be counting it as on Thanksgiving.
This recipe is a family favorite & soooo sooo yummy!!! Enjoy!!

Please share your favorite recipes!!!

Hump Day Edition~ Its Wednesday!!!

Good morning to My Awesome BFC Sisterhood!!!

 Happy Hump day!!! Its Wedneday & I have the day off today. So much to cram into this day but by golly I am gonna get it all done!!! I desperately need to do some housecleaning but not sure if I will get to that before the weekend. Just too many other things to do After posting this, I am headed to the gym to work out. I will shower there then do all my errands. I have some product deliveries from my MK Open House on Sunday so I will drive my cute little Jeep around town today & have fun playing with all the buttons!! :)

So I was thinking....we need to do a recipe post. I was digging through my recipe box this morning and I found a Recipe for Broccoli salad that I beleive is completely "Belly Good". I just bought some broccoli last night so I am gonna whip up a batch of this. Ive been in a veggie funk so I think this will help me get some more greens in my diet. I have been so busy lately that I have been having some "issues" with regularity so I know that it is vital for me to get some more roughage in. (Sorry...TMI again.) I am going to make the recipe post a separate one & I am hoping that we can all share a good recipe to help each other. Like I said, Ive been on this going on 3 weeks & I am getting bored eating the same stuff. I need to MIX IT UP a bit!!! I am making 7 layer salad for Thanksgiving and it is a belly good recipe, except that it does have some frozen peas in it which would add some sugar, but it makes a HUGE amount so I think the sugar content would remain low for a serving & for the most part, everything else is 0 sugars. I will post it too. It is one of my favorite salads ever!!!!! Nothing "diet" tasting about it!!!!

So I started my day with some oatmeal w/ chopped walnuts, almond milk & 3 slices of turkey bacon. I am drinking my coffee now & then off to exercise!!! I think lunch today  is going to be tuna salad on 2 slices of Trader Joes sprouted wheat w/ cheese. A Tuna melt!! YUM!

I hope you all have a fantastic day!! I did hop on the scale this morning & it says I am up a pound but like I said, I think it is false belly fat & I just need to get a little more "regularity" going on. I am not taking that weight as gospel & I will post my weigh in on Friday as I always do. Wish this were coming off faster. I am being very good & am dedicated to this program!! I know if we all stick to it, we will be successful!!!

Blessings & Belief always!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Right Now!

 I was sent this from a friend. Received it a few times before but it hit me like a ton of bricks to read it tonight & brought tears to my eyes. Anyways, wanted to share it with you all.
Enjoy this beautiful read & know that RIGHT NOW you are special! I love this!!!

Right Now -

-somebody is thinking of you.
-somebody is caring about you.
-somebody misses you
-somebody wants to talk to you.
-somebody wants to be with you.
-somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
-somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
-somebody wants to hold your hand.
-somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
-somebody wants you to be happy.
-somebody wants you to find him/her.
-somebody is celebrating your successes.
-somebody wants to give you a gift.
-somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
-somebody loves you.
-somebody admires your strength.
-somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
-somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.

Its Tuesday....

Hello  BFC "Sisters"!!!

Well, yet another busy day @ work & didnt get out til 5pm. It is my daughters 12th birthday today & I wanted to run to buy her a little cake for her special day so I ran to the grocery store after work to buy a small cake & some ice cream. She will be thrilled!! I WILL NOT be eating any, not even a bite!! The truth is, I have NO DESIRE whatsoever to even have a bite. Holy cow!! Did those words just come out of my mouth (or off my fingertips?)??? Its true!!!  Prior to the BFC, I too would have wanted a big ole chunk of that baby....but not anymore. I am finding my desire for sweets has really subsided since following this plan, something I NEVER dreamed would ever happen!! I love sweets.....I mean I LOVE LOVE LOVE SWEETS!! It has always been the best part of any meal to me and now, I dont really care anymore. What happened?? I do have a little sugar free Edys ice cream. We dont have Clemmys up here & I refuse to pay over $32 to ship Clemmys ice cream that is 5.99/qt. No way Jose!! I know that the sweetner isnt "legal" in BFC land but you know what....I dont really care. I am losing weight and inches & if a small bowl of it in the eve satisfys my desire for a treat from time to time, well so be it! Just my 2 cents....some may not agree with me but its ok. Im not perfect. The Edys sugarfree ice cream is an S/C of 4/1 per 1/2c & I usually buy the butter pecan flavor & add a few extra nuts. Its delightful!

So yes, 12 yrs ago, I was having a baby....actually, she is already officially 12. I had her @ 2:22 in the afternoon & she was (and still is) such a precious little girl!!! She reminds me that she is a "pre teen" & will officially be a teenage next year!! Where did the time go?? I feel like just yesterday that I had her. She was so tiny...7# 2oz. She is now in the 6th grade & weighs a whole 90# soaking wet. Shes tall thin & lovely young lady. Her name is Rachel which is Hebrew for "little lamb" & it fits her perfectly!!! She is beautiful, kind, sweet, smart & lovable, gentle spirited &  my cuddler!!! She just got home from swimming practice now & she informed me that she wants cake!! lol. She has to eat some soup before she has cake so I will finish up here & then go sing to my baby girl. I also remember that I weighed 232 # the day I delivered. ((Sigh)) I love kids but am grateful for the 2 beautiful daughters God has blessed me with & I am grateful that I dont have to ever be pregnant again!! Its a wonderous time in your life & one that I will always cherish & be thankful for but it is very hard on the body & I remember crying in the Drs office every time I had to get on the scale. I gained 55# with each pregnancy...not fun!!! IT was very depressing to look at those numbers going up @ every Dr visit and I vowed to NEVER see that number again!!

So in closing, I have to tell you what happened today at work. We have a wonderful female plastic surgeon who comes to the surgery center I work at. She and I were the only 2 in the locker room this morning (fate?) and I said to her..."you know, I was wondering if you could look at my appendectomy scar & tell me if you could revise it?" I showed her the scar & she said that it is all below the belly button & she would be happy to fix it! I told her my plans of losing 44-50# by my next bday & that I wanted to come & see her about a tummy tuck/scar revision. She told me to lose the weight (her words were to "deflate" my! I wish I could deflate it!!!) & we can do the surgery. She said it is a life changing surgery & I will be so happy with the results. Oh, and she said she offers nurses a great discount too!!!Can I just tell you....I feel like I have my fire "fueled" with a purpose now!! All these yrs I have always wondered if it could be revised & now that I know that it can, I am so excited!!!!!!!!!I have always dreamed of having a flat tummy. I have lived my entire life with this disfigurement & I told my husband tonight that I am going to have the surgery to have it fixed next yr. as my bday present. I know its not an easy surgery but I know the closer I can get to my ideal body weight, the better the results will be and I am going to make that happen!!! As I said in an earlier post, no matter how much weight I lose, the only rememdy to fix my belly will be to  have the scar removed & a tummy tuck. I used to care what people would think if I got one....would they think Im "shallow" or vain?? But they dont know what its like to have lived with this scar.....and frankly, now I really dont care what they think anymore!! I am going to do this for ME!!! I am gonna buy me some sexy panties from Victorias Secret!!!! I cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes me want to try even harder!!!! Hope that wasnt TMI again.....Thanks for listening.

So thats my day! How was yours?? I hope you are all well & staying true to your BFC plan, & if you had a hard day, remember tomorrow is a new day and you get to start over , hit the reset button & wipe the slate clean!!!

Good nite & sleep tight my "sisters"!!! You are all the Best!!!!!

Love & Belief!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Happy Monday!!!

Hello to all my "BFC Sisters"!!
How was your Monday? Well, mine was super busy again! We had 58 patients today (a VERY BUSY number!!!) and I usually work 8-4:30 but didnt get out til 5pm! Guess what I've got sittin in my garage tonite?? Uh huh!! I got a pretty ole 2011 Golden Sand Jeep Grand Cherokee tonite!!! Wooooohhhhhhoooooo! I took a picture of it on my phone but dont ask me how to download it!! haha! I will have my kids do it, or better yet, I will take one with my camera later this week & post it. OMG...jus love it!! It is so great to drive a brand new car!!! The look, the feel, the smell......oh, its soooo wonderful!!!!! And I go it for a ridiculous price plus free oil changes for the next 3 years!!!! Can you stand it??!! Uh, hello, I think that dealer needs a Cat Scan!!!! Anyways, so I worked all day, dashed home, ate really quick, cleaned out my car & was at the dealership by 6:05 pm and by 8pm, was driving my new car home!! Its so good to be back in a car again & out of the minivan!! I know you all are gonna think that I have a screw loose for saying this, but did you ever think to yourself "I wonder what kind of home is my old car going to" or is it headed to a parts junkyard? My car was such a good van, very reliable, & I really loved it alot. Kept me & my family safe for many yrs. I hope they get her all cleaned up & prettied again & sell her to a nice family who will appreciate such a good car. Not a thing wrong with it at trade in. Kinda sad to drive away from it. Well, perhaps I have lost my mind for saying that but its how I feel. I kinda was attached to it I guess.

So ok, back to BFC stuff. I ate 1 light english muffin (0/2) and had 1/3 of my omelette that I made yest with almond milk for breakfast. For lunch, I had ham slices (0/0) on 2 slices Trader Joes sprouted ww bread(0/1) with mustard, 1 -6 oz container of Breyers Light raspberry yogurt (7/1) & a few raspberries (8) in it. Sometimes< i just get a hankering for yogurt & I love the breyers light. it has no high fructose corn syrup in it & it tastes great & is a real treat for me to enjoy. I dont eat it every day but when I do I just about lick the container clean!! I LOVE YOGURT!!! Not crazy about the greek yogurt. To me, its just ok. I think its the texture...too thick! ick!!! I had 1 oz of almonds for a snack on the way home from work & then for dinner I had a smart & delicious wrap filled with leftover bbq pulled pork from yesterday. (4/1) It was delicious & I just didnt have time to cook something for dinner tonite with having to sign the paperwork for the car at 6pm so it was one of those moments where I just said to myself, it is what it is & Im eating it. It was worth it...sooooo delish!!! Oh, and I had 10 tortilla chips (0/1) when I came home from the car dealer so that was my menu tonight. I know, no veggies.... still just in that veggie funk o rama! I think I will have a salad tomorrow for lunch. I could use some roughage!

Well dear friends, have a great start of the week!!! Do post your comments & share any thoughts, ideas, good eats & recipes if you have em!!!

Until tomorrow....
Love & belief!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Sunday Evening Post

Well a good evening to all the bloggers in the newly formed  Sisterhood of the (soon to be) Loose Fitting Pants! (Love that name!! Thanks Diana!!!)

How are you all doing??? This weekend has been a crazy one for me & I wish I had the day off tomorrow, but unfortunately it is back to work & back to the grind!!!  My open house went well. I was busy all day & I had a great turnout!! It was cold & rainy today. My best friend that I was telling you about in an earlier post just texted me from Florida where they are basking in 80 degrees of HOT sun!! They are going on a Bahama Cruise tomorrow...I am so jealous....however 3 months from today, I will be on a cruise myself & they will be saying how jealous they are that we are basking in the hot Caribbean sun!! my day was much more on track HOWEVER I never had a chance to eat anything all day @ my open house & come 4pm, I was starving!!!! I made an omelette this morning about 9am & filled it with egg beaters, 1 real egg, 2 T of 1/2 & 1/2  and ham & cheese (0/0). I made it in a large frying pan & ate 1/3 of the omelette w/ 2 slices of Trader Joes sprouted wheat bread (0/1 for 2 slices). didnt have any time for coffee :( I was busy from the time my open house started & my stomach started growling around 3:45 pm so I ate a peanut butter pure protein bar & that calmed the restless native. I had a cheese stick on the way home & then hubby cooked me 4 small Trader Joes Chicken tenders (0/2) & I dipped those babies in some yummylicoius REAL RANCH dressing!! One word...YUMBO!!!! I have some sauteed zucchini in the fride that I made the other day but I am in a veggie funk...just not in the mood for them for some reason. I feel like I should have some sort of veggie each day so maybe I will heat them up. probably about 1/2c & I am thinking about a yummy cup of decaf coffee. I have become a true coffee drinker in the past few yrs & it is almost like a ritual and something I look forward to at the end of the day to have that cup of joe!!

So that was my day.  Had some cookies leftover from the open house & dropped them off @ my best friends parents house for them to enjoy with their evening coffee. They were pumpkin raisin cookies that I made (they were a WW recipe but not BFC friendly) & I didnt want them in my house for temptation in a weak moment. They are drizzled w/ cream cheese icing too....they are sooo good & so easy to make!

Need to wrap up some things w/ my business, then gonna make lunch for tomorrow & watch some tv & hit the hay! I hope you all had a great day!!!! I am getting a little bored with eating the same old stuff. any good recipes out there anyone wants to share?? I need some new ideas....PLEASE!!!!

Good nite!!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Saturday Edition~ Car Buying Nightmare!

Hello once again to my BFC Buds!!

What a busy day today was!! Its 7:30 EST as I sit here writing this & it is the first I have had the chance to sit down. So, my post will be a smidge off topic of BFC ...but just for a bit so bear with me uno momento.

So I have been driving a minivan for the last 14 years and I told my husband lasst year that I wanted to trade it in for a car or SUV. He lost his job without notice last April and told me when he found permanent employment again that I could trade my van in. He got permanent employment in March of this yr but has been giving me a hard time about trading my car in saying we cant afford it. So I have been really kind of bugging the hell out of him lately and got him to finally we went out car shopping today. I want a Jeep Grand Cherokee. I REALLY want an Acura MDX but hey, I will settle for a Jeep! Anyways, the car dealer we love & have bought our last 2 cars from just couldnt come into our ball park so we did some shopping around today & can I just tell you...I am MENTALLY exhausted!! What is it with buying a new car...gosh I hate it!! The high pressure!!!!!Our last dealer was so laid back, no pressure whatsoever & today...Ive never seen so much pressure!! We went to 3 dealerships today & I am a very even keeled calm person but this one salesman today made me so mad I had to walk out. I told my husband that I would NEVER buy a car from him!!! He was complaining about walking all the way to end end of the lot to see the car I wanted to see & then when I told him I had already test drove one & that I didnt need to drive it he told me that it was a "waste of time"....I thought to myself..."really"???!! I mean are you fricken serious?? Anyways, 6 hrs of that crap but I think I am finally gonna get my Jeep Grand Cherokee!!! It is a beautiful Golden Sand color, a 2011 model that has nice features. Not super loaded but enough to make me a happy camper. I just need air, power locks & a CD player  & thats about it. Im easy to please! This car has more than that & I love it!!! The last dealer we went to today the salesman was OMG SOOOO SOOOO PUSHY it was nauseating!! What gives?! He made us an offer that was the best I could ever hope for but they wanted us to sign on the spot & we are not that type of people. We need to sit on it. I told him the best thing he could do would be to let us sleep on it & we will get back to him on Monday. He said this is a NOW offfer....TODAY we said thank you and walked out. They dont like it when you do that cuz  as we were walking to our car, he yells to us that his sales manager wants to speak with us. Im thinkin....Oh boy!! They were literally chasing us down in the parking lot!! So we listened to the schpeel & blah blah blah he had to say & he made us an even better price!!! Its a little more that what we wanted to spend but for the vehicle, my trade whcih they arent giving us as much as we would like...but they never do, 3 yrs of free oil changes & a 2011 Grand Cherokee for 25k out the door, I think we are gonna take it! Hopefully they will be reasonable on Monday when we call to say we will buy it. Who knows, they may change their minds on the price but they seem pretty desperate to deal so we are gonna jump on the opportunity. I think we will kick ourselves if we pass it up.What do you all think?? A good deal??? Grand Cherokees start @ $32,900 up here..

So, amidst our car shopping my husband & I stopped @ Subway & had lunch. There were no good restaurants on the way & I feel like Subway is a decent choice. I had a 1/2 of the turkey & ham & provolone sub on whole wheat with lettuce, tomato, pickles & olives & salt & pepper. It was delish! S/C of 7/3 (yikes) but I only had oatmeal w/ walnuts (0/1) & almond milk (0/0) for breakfast so I "spent" my other carb serving @ lunch. I did have some bbq pulled pork for dinner that was 4gms of sugar per serving & I had more than I should have & I had it on a bun. I was soooo hungry & I had some chips(0/1) to go with it too. So I definitely went over what I should have today but I was just hungry & too darned tired to fix something else. No veggies tonite, just not in the mood for them. I think the stress of this darned car ordeal had me all riled up & by the time I got home, I just wanted to eat. Perhaps a little stress eating came into play today....I am still moving forward. So yes, not a perfect day by any means, but I did my best to manage considering my resources available. Tomorrow will be better, Im sure. We will have these days from time to time & this is my first real "flub".

So tomorrow is another busy day for me. I am a Sales Director with Mary Kay Cosmetics and it is my Annual Holiday Open house tomorrow. I do 2 BIG sales each year but this by far is my biggest one of the year and my customers cant wait for it! I love to offer them a discount as my way of saying "thank you" for their business. I can tell you one thing....this girl would NEVER EVER pressure a customer like we were pressured today!!! I even told the salesman that I am a businesswoman & I know that being pushy with people is not the answer to repeat business. His reply was "this is how its done". I couldnt disagree more! Ok, I am stepping down from my soapbox now. Sorry if I sounded like I was on a rant about the car thing. I will be glad when its all over & that snazzy new car is sitting in my garage. Shall I post a picture with it?? :) I think I my Levis that I love so much, even though they are still a bit snug...but not for much longer!!!!

Have a FANTABULOUS day my friends!! I always look forward to hearing from you all. I was reading Jorges Facebook posts last night. many unhappy people there!!! He is gonna lose his following if he doesn't intervene soon & answer their questions. Oh boy!!! The natives are getting restless!! I feel like our little blogging community of friends is like a safe negativity. Just positive, encouraging posts from people who truly care. I know I dont know you all personally, cant see you other than your pictures, but I feel like I "know" you all.....its like a wonderful sisterhood, and we all care about one another & eveyone is welcome & "belongs". Anyone wanna sing "Kumbaya" with me now? lol!!!

Goodnite dear friends! Have a wonderful evening!!!

Love & Belief!

Friday, November 12, 2010

ITs Friday!!! Weigh in Day!!!!!!

Good morning to my BFC Buds!

Well, today is the day....time to officially weigh in  and I am happy to report (drumroll please.....) a 2.5 # loss this week!!!!!!!!!! Wooohooooo!!!! That makes my total 4# in 2 weeks....and I shall take it, thank you very much!! Not too bad for not exercising @ all. I do need to get back on that wagon again as I do feel 100% better when my body gets that O2 a revving through my veins!!

So, as I posted last night on Rosalies blog in concurrment with Mary's comment....this number is just that....a NUMBER. Nothing more! It is not what is defining me....or who I am...or where I am going. I will be under 200# and in "Onederland" (as Diana says) by Christmas. It is my gift to myself this year! A great gift, huh? Ive never given myself that kind of "gift" and it is one that I cannot wait to receive!!  Actually, as I think about it, I am down a total of 11# since March. I was at my highest nonpregnant weight ever....embarrassed to say it but we are all friends here...I weighed 218.5. I remember seeing that number on the scale & bursting into tears. I delivered both my children at the same weight...232. That was 14 & 12 yrs ago and I thought to myself, there is NO FRIGGEN WAY I am EVER gonna weight that much again, especially being NON PREGNANT! So I currently weigh 207.5 as of this morning. I started the BFC @ 213.5 on Oct 30, 2010. I havent been in the 190s since 2004. I had breast reduction surgery in April of 2004 and I weighed 192. Isnt it funny how we remember these quirky little things? But as I look back on pictures of myself then, while I was still heavy, I looked so much better. I wore a size 16. I am currently wearing an 18 but they are starting to fit more comfortably. My face is pretty thin for the most part (as are my legs & ankles...haha!) I carry the majority of my weight in my belly and torso area.

I feel so great lately and I want to share with you some of the things that I have noticed a difference in.

#1~ I feel so good all the time!! I feel in control of my eating and I am not daydreaming about my next meal, which is all that I did while on weight watchers! All I thought about was cooking, baking lowfat cookies & tracking every bite that I ate & feeling disappointed at the end of the day when I was still hungry & out of points. Now mind you, I am in NO WAY bashing weight watchers. They are a wonderful organization & have helped so many people to get to their goal weight. After MANY attempts at trying to make it work, I have finally realized, their program is not the right fit for my life. It is working for my sister and always has worked great for her. Not gonna try to put any more energy into figuring out why it isnt a good fit for me. I LOVE the BFC and it has become a part of my life now. I dont feel bloated @ the end of the day which I ALWAYS felt eating all those carbs & hidden sugars. I would venture to guess that I was eating well over 150gms of sugar a day & 15 servings of carbs a day. Just a guess though.

#2~ I can SEE a difference in the way my belly looks. I have never had a pretty tummy. I had an emergency appendectomy when I was 3 yrs old and I have a GIGANTIC UGLY scar next to my belly button that is just plain no other word to describe it ugly! It is disfiguring and no matter how much weight I do lose, the only corrective measure I will be able to do is to have it removed via tummy tuck. But I am alive because of that life giving surgery that I had so many years ago, and I am grateful to be here. That scar is a part of who I am and I have carried it with me a lifetime...but I would love to be able to wear "pretty" underwear. I have never been able to do that in my life and I would just love to ditch the support panties that I have to wear to smooth out my scar (was that TMI that i juat told you?? lol...sorry!) & trade them in for a sexy pair from Victorias Secret! Heck....maybe when I hit my goal, I'll buy me a THONG!!!! hahahahaha!!! Ok, well lets not get too carried away now! But anyways, what I am saying is....I can see & feel the diffenrece in my belly. My waist measurement was 43" when I started & it is now 41" and I am measuring about an inch less around my belly button area. so 3 inches in 2 weeks, not too shabby!

#3~ My clothes are starting to feel better. I have a pr of Levis that I LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! I have not been able to wear them in over a yr. I could zip them up but couldnt sit in them comfortably & my belly fat roll would ooze over the waistband. I still have a little ooze but not like before & I can totally wear them & sit in comfort.....not like sweatpants but when I get into ONEDERLAND before Christmas they are gonna feel great! Matter of fact, I will post of picture of me in them when they are starting to get big. Stay tuned for that one!

So thats what on my heart today. Things are patched up with my friend and all is well in life. I love our group of BFC Bloggers and I want to thank all of my wonderful new friends that I have met here & in the other blogs. You are all just fantastic and I really do think we should look into doing a once a week or bi weekly conference call so that we can chat & have an open forum to stay motivated & share ideas. Kind of like our own little support group. I look forward to checking in to see how everyone else is doing!! Have a wonderful Friday!!
Love & Blessings & 100% belief that we can do this!!!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Thursday night..... Hi all!

Hello to my dear BFC friends!!
How was your Thurs? Mine was super busy from the moment I got up & here I sit...finally able to say a few words. Its late here so I am going to be brief. I had a good day. It is OR nurses week and the surgery center I work for catered a luncheon for all the nurses today. It was antipasto salad & grilled chicken wraps. Yes, I probably could have had one, but i chose not to. I had my ham & swiss on TJs sprouted wheat bread, raspberrries & cucumbers with ranch...and it was delicious and satisfying! Didnt feel like i was missing out on a thing! I got home @ 5pm & can I tell you....Man was I starving!!!!! There was some BBQ potato chips left in a bag & I started eating them. Thankfully, the bag was almost gone & the sugar was only 1 gm per serving so that made me feel better for indulging in them. I made 3 Trader Joes chicken tenders & dipped them in ranch (I sound like Rachels blog...deep fried in ranch!! Man I LOVE LOVE LOVE RANCH dressing and NOT the lowfat garbage...I eat the real stuff guilt free!! Its very low in sugar & oh so delightful!!! Sorry...I think I was drooling! lol) I also had a pure protein bar because I just had to have something chocolatey. It is only 2gms sugar & 1 carb serving. So I actually ate 3 carb servings with dinner but I ate all 6 & no more & my sugars were 14gms today. I know you are supposed to not eat more than 2 serving of carb per meal, but I just had to have something sweet tonite. I could have done worse damage for sure so I am proud of my pure protein option as opposed to other choices I could have the vanilla oreos....oh, be still my heart! But I dont need them anymore. I just miss them a an old (oh boy...time for me to hit the hay...Im getting "squirrely" here!)
Well, tomorrow is weigh in day so I will let you know where I am this 2nd week of the BFC. My porr daughter...she is sick tonight with a 103 fever. I have a feeling she wont be going to school tomorrow....poor baby. Fevers are so draining!
Nitey nite my friends!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Quick Update!

Hello Friends!
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. My friend and I spoke on the phone this afternoon and it was via text message that our lines got crossed. Texting is good...sometimes ....but many times tone & how & what you REALLY want to say something can get misconstrewed and miscommunicated. We decided that we love each other too much to let something so trivial stand in the way of so many yrs of friendship. I am happy to report that things are back to normal and we are going to get together tomorrow to have some "bonding time".
Thank you to all my wonderful BFC frineds for your support. Hope I didnt sound like a basket case.